I Get Lost.

Often I feel as if I'm not living a life that's full enough. There is always a feeling of emptiness inside of my body, right above my stomach behind my ribs, that feels like someone is standing on me. You know that feeling in your throat you get when it's tough to tell someone you care about something because you fear their disappointment (like there's a rock lodged in there or something)? Well, that's the same sort of feeling I get in my stomach. 

I think to myself, 'How is one suppose to live a life in a manner that is worth of the gift of life itself.' Throughout the day, I get pressured with everything this world has to offer. Signs that tell me to do this, to take that. Pop stars giving me a 'role' to follow and to draw from. Foods to eat that are absolutely terrible for a human being, yet I still choose to eat them-you know what I'm talking about... This world is a tough place.

I am always battling against my pride and my ego. I know it isn't bad to take pride in something that you do. I mean, come on! That's the American way! However, sometimes pride blinds my ability to see things as others see them. Being able to understand that other people are feeling things, and taking in information at the same time I am  is something that I have yet to master. 

I catch myself lost in my own thoughts and desires. When I should be focusing on the present and what is going on around me and how I'm affecting others. Am I helping or hurting my peers? You impact people whether you want to or not. It's all of a matter on  how you impact them. Am I lifting them up or tearing them down? Am I being negative or positve? It's easier to not care- to not pay attention to other peoples feelings. But damn. Are you so much better than them that you have to be self centered 24/7? You're conditioning society's problems instead of trying to solve them. Pay attention people! Close your eyes for once. So you can think about what's going on around you. Shut your mouth.You'll be able to hear things more easily. Are you having troube following what others are trying to say? Then you feel bad because you honestly have no idea what they just said... That's because you're too worried about your own opinion and what you are going to say next. You block yourself from the person you're comunicating with before they finish what they are trying to say. Be open. Be considerate. Be kind. Love everyone, you never know who really needs it.